Pain, Our Instructor

Perhaps it is because we are human, or perhaps it is because we live in a land of perpetual American comfort and regularly pursue pleasure that we believe we are entitled to a pain-free existence. Here’s the thing though, Jesus NEVER, EVER said such a thing. In fact, He said the exact opposite, often…Here are just a few examples:

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  - John 16:33b

 “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are My followers.” Matthew 24:9

“If any of you wants to be My follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? If anyone is ashamed of Me and my Message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when He returns in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” - Mark 8:34-37

These are just a few of Jesus’ examples reminding us that life as a believer will be hard… not just from persecution, but because life is just plain difficult. There are relationship messes, family drama, there is evil coming at you in the world, false teachers, accidents, physical disease, bad doctrine, friendship betrayals, church abuse and the list goes on and on and on and on. If any of us thinks that we can escape at least some of this mess we are definitely wrong! But not only are we NOT going to escape it, sometimes - no oftentimes! - we are called to walk headlong into hard things so that we can help. God actually wants us to take risks for Him and get into the hard things in other people’s lives! Crazy, but true. 

So why do we freak out when hard things come our way as if we are affronted that it has happened to us? And why do we - Christ-followers -  begin questioning God’s goodness yet again in the midst of our own trials? Because we have believed the lie the enemy and the world like to tell over and over again… That I deserve better. That I shouldn’t have to. That pain is always bad. That what I am experiencing right now in the middle of this mess is the end of the story. 

I have been in this very place a lot. But, dang it, I don’t want to anymore! Do you? I want to know, that I know, that I know, down to my core, that God is always good, regardless of what is happening all around me or how I feel at any given moment. How do I(we) get there? 

First, we have to figure out how to welcome trials. And this needs to be a posture we adopt long before the next one comes. In James 1:2-4 it says, “ Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

I don’t want to just read this verse and let the extreme nature of it pass away. This verse is hard for us! Quite frankly, I don’t want to embrace trials, I want to run away and pray them away. I want everyone else to do the same, so that I feel good when I choose NOT to embrace them. But that is hardly helpful and it is certainly not what this verse is calling us to do. Pain does hurt, but perhaps if we believe God for even a second, we can see that whatever He has allowed to enter the scene of our life is here to instruct us, and then we can open up to it and be more discerning through it. We are supposed to meet our trials and consider them an opportunity for GREAT JOY! So Our first stop on this journey to letting pain instruct us … is to stop and ask the Lord to help us see how this trial is meant to teach us. Thank the Lord in advance for the endurance, maturity, and completion this is bringing to your journey… This may sound insane … but perhaps this posture will actually help us endure and rest in Jesus instead of balking and bucking our way through hard things. At the very least, try it out! I am definitely going into my next trial with more curiosity, rather than my usual what-the-crap-is-this-? attitude. 

OK, so now that we have shifted our beginning posture to one more of embrace rather than repel, what do we do when we are feeling the actual pain? Perhaps it is physical, perhaps it is internal and emotional, perhaps you are helping someone else through a messy situation and now their mess is all over your life too, perhaps it is justice-oriented and you are longing to see change, perhaps it has been going on and on and on… What do we do with the pain? We have to keep bringing it to Jesus. He doesn’t want us to avoid it, or stuff the hurt down - truly that’s just going to come back to you later - so why bother? Go to Him in prayer, picture yourself dumping it at His feet, or at the cross, ask Him to help you carry it all. Ask Him for wisdom, discernment, and a proper course to follow. But most of all cry out to Him in a lament. Let yourself feel it, but feel it while you are clinging to Jesus. He will help you bring your feelings to the right places. You want justice? - He is the One who brings it - rightly. You want someone who is causing people harm to change? Tell Jesus, knowing that the Spirit is the only one who can change someone from the inside out. Do you want to see restoration or healing? He is your Man. He is the one who designed restoration and promises to heal. (Gosh, and make sure on this journey you are asking for inner healing and physical healing … perhaps that is the very thing you need to learn?) Your feelings matter. And they matter to Jesus. He feels along with you. He does not leave you alone in it, or even look at you strangely while you wail away. But your feelings shouldn’t win and take over, and they shouldn't be what lead you to take your next step in a hard painful journey. Rely on the Spirit of God, learn His voice, and be obedient to His voice and scripture. Feelings are real, so feel them - but do it with Jesus, and let Him lead you. 

But lastly, know that the pain is here for a purpose. It is not only meant to transform you, it is meant to bring about the purposes of God, but only if you give it to Him and let Him do with it what He has meant it for.  Kim Meeder, says in her book, Revival Rising,

“Indeed, our pain has a purpose. All of it. If we do not believe this, it only means we have not yet turned the corner into trusting Him more than our pain. 

This is what Jesus can do with pain, any pain, given to Him. 

When we surrender our suffering to Him, He makes it into something beautiful, powerful, life-changing. But there is something He cannot heal - the pain we refuse to give Him. And this is the pain that destroys.”  

We need to stop holding onto our pain thinking it is serving and protecting us. We do this a lot, don’t we? If I keep looking at it, keep nursing it, keep harboring any bitterness, or even just the hurt… it can feel like it’s own kind of justice. It can feel like it’s own kind of protection, it can even feel like it makes you unique and special like no one else could possibly know just how you feel. But those are just lies. Jesus knows. He has seen the hurt, He has lived through it with you, because you are ‘hidden with Christ in God.” This union means that if you love and follow Jesus, He never leaves you, nor forsakes you. He knows everything that you need, He knows everything you have been through, and He knows how this pain is going to turn into something glorious. BUT you have to give it over to Him. You have to put it in His hands and surrender the rights to it. Let Him have it and let Him do what is best for it. I’m not gonna lie… this is hard work. You might have to do it way more than once, but trusting God with it is where you will find rest in the middle of your pain. Surrender, dear friend. Surrender and remember again that this is not the end of the story. Someday soon you will glimpse light, and peace, and have joy. Jesus has got you. And He’s got your pain. And He knows how it will all turn out - always, always, always for your good and His glory. So let your pain be the teacher it is meant to be…