I Am Being Healed… My Testimony So Far (part 1)

Last year (2023) as Lent was rolling in I became overwhelmingly afraid that I was heading for a total health breakdown. I had been struggling with chronic pain, all over my body and in every joint, which had been ever increasing since age 30 (really even younger but it wasn’t as noticeable), I am almost 50 now. I could never lose weight unless I was starving myself, and all kinds of weird unexplained things were happening. I had completely amended my diet, and had done all the ‘right’ things. I went mostly organic, cut out carbs, sugar and whatever else my doctor told me to do. I had taken ridiculous amounts of supplements, tried all kinds of diets, medications, and even hormones. I had a bunch of diagnoses … like leaky gut, fibromyalgia, fatty liver, insomnia (I couldn’t sleep, a total insomniac at about 4 or 5 hours on a good night… other nights far less… and that had gone on for years), disc degeneration and even had to have back surgery. I had severe inflammation all over my body, I had hot flashes from eating, my eyes were bulging, I had a constant headache, and was totally exhausted. Exercise had become impossible due to pain, especially in my feet. No matter what I tried … It would only seem to make one thing slightly better and a hundred others worse. It felt totally hopeless. 

So at the beginning of lent one night, I woke up in a sweat, fear was screaming from every bit of me, because for months my body had started twitching and I had started to have tics all over … I thought for sure I had MS, but was too afraid to go to the doctor to hear another horrible thing. That night, though, I thought my body was going completely haywire. The tics and twitches were so LOUD. Almost in the same moment though, I KNEW THAT FEAR WAS NOT FROM JESUS. He never, ever brings fear … the enemy does. 

I got up, grabbed my Bible and another book I was reading by Kim Meeder, Encountering Our Wild God, and went out to my office to fight whatever was happening to me. I felt impressed by God to read Psalm 103. So I cracked open my Bible and dug in, here’s what I read… 

O my soul, come, praise the Eternal

    with all that is in me—body, emotions, mind, and will—every part of who I am—

    praise His holy name.

O my soul, come, praise the Eternal;

    sing a song from a grateful heart;

    sing and never forget all the good He has done.

Despite all your many offenses, He forgives and releases you.

    More than any doctor, He heals your diseases.

He reaches deep into the pit to deliver you from death.

    He crowns you with unfailing love and compassion like a king.

When your soul is famished and withering,

    He fills you with good and beautiful things, satisfying you as long as you live.

    He makes you strong like an eagle, restoring your youth.

I read that passage and was filled with hope. If I believe that Jesus has forgiven all my sins… shouldn’t I also believe that He can and wants to heal all of my diseases? It says right here in the same sentence that He does! But I had prayed for healing before, however I never went after it with the Lord. Doctors were always my answer - though they never gave me satisfying answers (by the way I am not saying doctors are unhelpful or bad in any way!) BUT my prayers were only ever half-hearted wishes most of the time, at other times just plain begging. Perhaps I was missing something? 

Sitting that night in my office, I stopped and prayed right then and there … commanded out loud all fear to leave and then followed God into commanding my body to stop with the constant tics and twitches. 

The fear stopped.

The tics and twitches stopped. 

My body was quiet for the first time in months. 

I continued praying Psalm 103 over myself … commanding my body to come in line with scripture. Lord, make me strong like an eagle, restore my youth. My soul is famished and withering… Lord fill me up with good things. Forgive me of all my sins… I confessed anything I could think of, and asked Him to heal all of my diseases. I prayed against each thing in my body that felt off or wrong. I asked Him to deliver me from what felt like a death sentence, and then I spent a bunch of time praising Him… with every part of me. I gave my heart, mind, soul, and body over to Him in praise. 

Kim Meeder’s book aided these prayers… the stories in there of healing, deliverance, angels and being filled with the Spirit had woken me up the month before like nothing else had in a while… but also at the end of each chapter were these faith-filled prayers… so I started praying those out loud too and just asking God for more of Himself. 

He definitely showed up that night and filled me with hope and encouragement. I prayed Psalm 103 and the Kim Meeder prayers over myself every day throughout Lent… I thought that on Easter, God would completely heal me … but that is NOT how it all happened. Instead He took me into another journey and then another… and by the time November 2023 rolled around the Lord told me He was training me. 

Training me for what you might ask? He was training me to understand so many things I never understood before about how our world works, how the spiritual realm operates, how badly I and the whole church need to dive even deeper with Him, how healing works, how deliverance works and definitely plays a part in this whole story of healing. He was opening my mind and heart to things that the evangelical church rarely talks about. He was opening me up to begin to understand that the Kingdom of God includes not just a Gospel message of repentance but also healing and deliverance… just like it says in scripture, just like we see in Jesus’ ministry while He walked on Earth. Jesus bought so much more for us on the cross than we thought… and we can have so much more of Him here on this side of eternity than we have believed. That night last February began a journey of wanting ALL that God has for me in the here and now….

I know He wants that for All His children.

More to come in parts 2 and 3.